Mother of teen killed in car wreck thankful for friends

HUNTINGTON -- On a warm November evening, the grave of Robert Gleason Jr. in Spring Hill Cemetery is piled with flowers and gifts.

The offerings included a special Pittsburgh Steelers issue of Sports Illustrated with a note from a friend, a cross with a green-and-white beaded bracelet, a Marshall flag and a photo of Bobby in his Huntington Highlanders football jersey. No. 63.

His mother, Melanie, visits often. She has bad days and good days. And with the comfort of family, faith and friends, the good are starting to outweigh the bad.

On this night, in fact, she's across town at the house of friends and having a good time. She's laughing, listening to music and decorating wine glasses with a group of ladies whom she counts among many reasons to be thankful today, even after a year that most mothers would try not to imagine.

"I'm so lucky. I have all these angels," she said. "My homies."

Bobby Gleason died in June after a week in two hospitals, one in Alabama and then at St. Mary's Medical Center. He and friend Chris Withers, both 18-year-old graduates of Huntington High, were killed in a car accident in Alabama while driving back from their senior trip in Panama City, Fla. Three friends in the car survived.

It's been a tough year for Melanie, her husband, Bob, their 18-year-old daughter and Bobby's twin, Maggie, and sons Mack, 15, and John, 12. But on this Thanksgiving Day, Melanie Gleason can run down a lengthy list of reasons to be thankful.

For one, "I thank God we had that child for 18 1/2 great -- and I emphasize great -- years," she said.

She's thankful for her family, her church and faith, a group of wonderful friends and a community overflowing with kindness. Over the past six months, community members have helped the family with medical bills, prayed, shared cherished stories about Bobby, brought gifts and helped take care of the most minute details following the visitation and funeral, she said.

"These people are teaching me things to do that I never knew -- making sure we had toilet paper, paper towels and garbage bags (in the days following Bobby's death). I didn't know you should do that," she said. "It softened the blow. You're not going to get that in a big city because you don't know your neighbor in a big city. They came out of the woodwork."

Family members have been there for her, she said, adding her sister and sisters in-law have been great.

And "Every day, I find out somebody I didn't know has been praying for us," Melanie Gleason added. "It's great. You want to give back. When you're down, go help somebody else and it pulls you right out."

She has about 450 thank you notes to write for things that people have done to help, but the first thing she wants to do is give something back to Hospice of Huntington.

Melanie Gleason turns 50 on Dec. 21, and for the occasion, she's rounding up 50 friends to help staff a Hospice of Huntington Memorial Tree that will be stationed at Empire Books & Music from Monday, Nov. 26, through Sunday, Dec. 23. There are two-hour time slots during which volunteers will accept donations in exchange for tree ornaments. Donors can write the name of a loved one to be memorialized on the ornaments and hang it on the tree.

Hospice was a godsend, Melanie Gleason said.

"They offered grief counseling at no charge," she said. "We were getting bills that would blow your mind, but they offered this free of charge. They give you all kinds of materials about where you should be with your grief, and I think Bob and I needed to know that we were (dealing with the loss as can be expected). We were right where we needed to be."

With the help of more than 30 friends so far, she still has some time slots to fill.

Among the volunteers enlisted so far are the new girlfriends she's grown closer to since her son's death. Many of them have kids in high school and they now get together on a regular basis, whether at a campground, a tailgate, a Barry Manilow concert or the home of Dick and Debbie Fredeking, which has been a traditional spot for congregating. They cook out, comfort each other, talk, laugh, sometimes dance and sing, and have become very tightly knit.

The Fredekings' home was a spot to keep vigil while Bobby was in the hospital, Debbie Fredeking said.

"I've never had such a warm feeling as being with this group, praying and hoping together and eventually grieving together," she said. "So much love has grown. It's a bond that will never go away. It was a gift to all of us."

Bobby lives in the hearts of the entire group, said Jill Heath, another friend of the Gleasons.

"I see him almost every day," she said. "He's always in my mind. He made this happen."

Bobby and his mother had a lot in common -- both being more likely to worry about others than themselves, friend Marlene Sims said.

"What a great and incredible family the Gleasons are," she said. "I stood and watched them console all these kids and everyone else when they were hurting the most," she said.

Melanie, Debbie Fredeking said, is amazing.

"I can see her strength is her faith, her family and friends, and she'll do anything for them," she said. "By doing that, she gives us strength and hope. She's an amazing lady, Bob is an amazing man, and they have amazing kids -- the boys and Maggie. They're an amazing family."

Howie McCormick/The Herald-Dispatch

Melanie Gleason has received a lot of support from her group of new friends following the death of her son, Bobby, last June. Above, Gleason, centered in front, sits with friends Debbie Fredeking, Marlene Sims, Becky Hess, Mona Arnold, Johnna Kirk, Jill Heath, Ruth McComas and Heather Sims during a get-together at the Fredeking home on Tuesday.