Print |
E-mail to a friend
OPINIONS
Diane W. Mufson: Mother of six should not have gone for eight more
Growing up, I recall the common parental response to a request for permission to join in activities of my more daring peers. It was, "Just because everyone is doing it, you don't have to do it." An additional parental guiding proclamation was, "Just because you can do it doesn't mean you should do it."
That latter statement appears to fit the situation of the recently born octuplets. "Just because you can do it, doesn't mean you should do it" applies to both the physician and mother involved in this irrational mass production of babies.
While no one will ever know the precise motivation why Nadya Suleman, a single, unemployed mother with a half dozen very young children at home, chose to have eight embryos implanted, the question many of us have asked is, "What were you thinking?"
Were you thinking that you alone could care for and support more than a dozen children ages birth to seven? Were you thinking that having octuplets would bring you fame (so far it has) and fortune (it may yet)?
Reports have said that Ms. Suleman "loves children" and wanted to have many of them around her. Her mother is quoted as saying "she's basically normal except for this obsession she's always had with children." Being obsessed with having this many children is not normal.
Love is essential for raising children, but kids also have pragmatic and time-consuming needs not limited to being fed, bathed, clothed, educated and taken to doctors. Having six little ones at home should have made this clear.
Giving birth to eight babies, all premature and some weighing less than two pounds, makes it likely that some of these infants will have special and expensive needs now and in the future.
But perhaps the person we should be asking most questions about is the physician who performed the in vitro fertilization and implantation of the embryos. Maybe Ms. Suleman was naive about future difficulties for the children, but surely the doctor must have been aware of the potential problems for eight babies sharing a womb. This doctor was not helping a woman become a mother but rather demonstrating his or her technological skills. Was the doctor also thinking of fame and or fortune?
Speaking of fortune, an Associated Press article calculated that raising 14 children to age 18 would cost between $1.3 million and $2.7 million and that in 2006, the average cost for one preemie's initial hospital stay was almost $200,000. Unless Ms. Suleman is courted and supported by the media and advertisers, she is not going to be able to pay these bills.
The eight tiny infants are here and will need lots of physical, social and financial support. The mother of these 14 children, regardless of how competent she believes she is, also will require much assistance.
It is wonderful that the technology is available to help infertile woman bear children and have families, but the bigger question is just because we can do it, should we use this technology in any situation? As the case of the recent eight in vitro fertilized babies born to a single mother with the makings of a preschool already at home, it is clear that "just because you can do it does not mean you should do it." Hopefully updated medical ethics will prevent a repeat of this situation.
Diane W. Mufson is a licensed psychologist in practice in Huntington. She is a former citizen member of The Herald-Dispatch editorial board and a regular contributor to The Herald-Dispatch editorial page. Her e-mail is dwmufson@comcast.net.
