Click here to stay informed and subscribe to Herald-Dispatch.
Click #isupportlocal for more information on supporting our local journalists.
Learn more about HD Media
At age 67, I’ve got a lot to learn the next few decades before losing the race to Father Time. He’s undefeated. Sometimes I forget what I’m saying but as I write today, I feel focused with a mind like a steel trap.
To satisfy curiosity my brain gets busy racing down rabbit holes of varied interests like art, sports, history, who shot Tupac. Occasionally I’m down one hole, get distracted and jump into another hole — hey look, there’s a squirrel.
What was I saying? Oh yes. Holes. I want to know everything there is to know about rabbit holes. Aren’t the burrows a maze of tunnels called a warren? But I digress.
I forget what I was thinking about? Maybe it was revolution. I want to know everything about the French Revolution, not just the Reign of Terror but the other phases as well. Do you think Robespierre wanted something more from life besides guillotining 17,000 people? Maybe he wanted the quiet life of a gardener or a sheep herder. Sorry, I digress.
Speaking of revolution, does society really need the $300 Revolution Toaster? Can’t we spend money better on a $300 device that brews beer at the touch of a button? I digress.
And who decided the number of days in the month should be 31 or whatever? Why weren’t moon months good enough? We had a bright Beaver Moon in November when Native Americans set beaver traps, but did anyone you know set their traps? I digress.
I want to know about the Peloponnesian War between Athens and Sparta. Speaking of old armies, how much gear do our modern armies really need? Can’t we just agree to battle like in Tarzan movies? Each side gets spears and unlimited animal help. Yell like Johnny Weissmuller to summon hordes of elephants, chimpanzees and crocodiles. Maneuver them with the word “ungawa.” I digress.
Speaking of food (which I wasn’t but I’m thinking of now), I can only operate one item in my new kitchen — the microwave. The other 10 appliances are too complicated. Is it a convection stovetop and induction oven or vise versa? Which pans do I use? How do children stick empty glasses into my refrigerator door and bring out glasses full of water? What is this wizardry?
I puzzle over things. I wonder why I can feel angry one moment and happy the next. I wonder why I can be unnerved by silence and then agitated by noise. I wonder about intelligent life on other planets (and can Martians do Wordle faster than me; not to brag, but I’m getting pretty good.) I wonder why we haven’t walked on the moon for over 50 years. I wonder why we didn’t have flying cars in the 1960s after George Jetson showed us how.
I wonder why humans all over the world are so much like one another. There’s only one species of us — Homo sapiens. One would think we’d have as many species of humans as say bears who have the brown, black, Asiatic, panda, polar, sloth, spectacled and sun species. If bears have eight cousins, what happened to my Neanderthal relatives?
And what about … wait. I forget what I was talking about. Praise the Lord. I need a nap.
Grant McGuire is a Huntington resident. His email address is grant11955@gmail.com
Keep it Clean. Please avoid obscene, vulgar, lewd,
racist or sexually-oriented language.
PLEASE TURN OFF YOUR CAPS LOCK.
Don't Threaten. Threats of harming another
person will not be tolerated.
Be Truthful. Don't knowingly lie about anyone
or anything.
Be Nice. No racism, sexism or any sort of -ism
that is degrading to another person.
Be Proactive. Use the 'Report' link on
each comment to let us know of abusive posts.
Share with Us. We'd love to hear eyewitness
accounts, the history behind an article.
Thank you .
Your account has been registered, and you are now logged in.
Check your email for details.
Submitting this form below will send a message to your email with a link to change your password.
An email message containing instructions on how to reset your password has been sent to the e-mail address listed on your account.
Thank you.
Your purchase was successful, and you are now logged in.
| Rate: | |
| Begins: | |
| Ends: | |
| Transaction ID: |
A receipt was sent to your email.
